It's a Ruben! How Fucking Hard Can it Be?!?!?

 

OK, I know it has been awhile but I'm slight pissed off.  I have a weakness for Club Sandwiches, Chicago Style Hot Dogs, and Rubens.

I usually give a place three chances to keep my business.  There is a Butcher/Deli on the corner of Court and Muscatine that I drive by everyday.  One  day I see a sign "Today's Special - Rubens".  You Bastards!  I'm in. Not that day, but soon.  

I stop in a couple of week's later when I have money burning a hole in my pocket and a rubble in the belly.  I order one Ruben to go.  At home, I chow down.  The Ruben wasn't bad, not great, but not bad. That's one.  

Round two, I am told they are out of rye bread, but they can use white bread. (Well, it's not a Ruben is it. It's a pile of sadness.) The time is about 1:15 PM.  I can't imagine a Deli running out of sandwich bread that soon.  One Ball, One Strike.  

Round Three.  Couple of weeks later, 5:15 PM Friday, I have a dream of a Ruben and a couple of cold ones for a Friday Dinner Pinic.  Perfect!  Nope!  "We close the grill down and stop making sandwiches at Five." One Ball, Two Strike.  To be fair they are a butcher shop and the Deli thing is a side hustle, so I kind of get it.  However, it's like going to Mickey D's and finding out they are out of shake mix. 

Round Four.  OK the stars align for another try, They have Rye Bread, the grill is open, and there is plenty of meat behind the Counter. I order two Rubens.  Fuck my heart!  I get the last of the meat they have for the day.  Back at home, the first sandwich goes down the gullet.  It's ok, need some more Thousand Islands, and I want some fries.  The bread seems a little dry.  Ball! Second Ruben is a failure pile.  Each bite is a fatty mess.  Looks like I really got the dregs of the cuts.  Strike Three.  

I give you all the chances, and I guess you don't want my business.

Charlize Theron is an African American

Some time ago a fellow blogger asked me if I wanted to be called an African-American or a Black American.  If I recall correctly I said it depends on the context.  Academic papers, grants, and work I would use African-American.  In less formal seeing I might use Black American.

I take all of that back now.  I am both, but the terms are not interchangeable.

Charlize Theron is an African.  She was born and raised in Africa and has ancestors from African as well.  She was naturalized as an American citizen in 2007.  Hence she is an African-American.  That said, There is NO WAY IN HELL she would be called a Black American.  She is most definitely a White American.  (She is also yummy and delicious, but that another story for the pay-per-view blog)

Being a Black American is fundamentally different than being an African-American.  Being a Black American in the United States means you see this life through a different set of experience.

Holy Crap!

I just found a bunch of blog post drafts that I never finished or forgot to hit the "Publish" button.

So I have my work cut out for me.

Life By the Number (Special Edition!)

HR: 72 (up fro 62)
BP: 120/80 (Down from 130/95)
A1C: 6.7% (Up From 6.2%)
WT: 245 ( Down from 250) Yippie

If anyone still reads this blog, you know in the summer I get all my standard checkups.  Just like the my car: Oil Changed, Tires Rotated, Brake Done, and anything else I can think of.

All I have to say about the numbers above, "Dam you Donuts, Damn you to Hell".  Of Course it's my fault shoving donuts down my throat.  It's unfair I lose five pounds yet my blood sugar has gone up.  I guess this just means diabetes is slowly winning.  That just sucks.  I will have to cut back on all those really yummy foods, but after the state fair.  There is a funnel cake with my name on it! (Aside: There are a whole bunch of foods I will allow myself to have only once in a year:  KFC Chicken, a Funnel Cake, Banana Fritters, and I'm sure some other things will hit the banned list.)

So I get all my holes check, teeth, eyes, ears, nose, and throat.  This year is different however, I turned 50 which means I get the "Forbidden Hello".

Normally, You know I love posting pictures of myself: Eyes, Teeth, and whatever else.  Boy! do I have pictures for you!  However, the High Priestess says "NO!"   So you will just have to settle for Anthony Kiedis' gif from the Red Hot Chili Pepper Video "Can't Stop".

Long story - Short:  I Won't have to do this for another 10 years!

(This a unpublished entry from July 2015)

Yes, It the ending of the year.  No I haven't posted anything for a whole year.  Yeah, I'm an ass.  Deal with it.  I have 8000 things I can do and not enough time left to do them in.  I have a stack of books I want to read.   Books I actually bought with real money.  I got a shelf of video games I haven't finished nor played taking up space on scattered hard drives and video consoles.  I've got movies on DVD I haven't watched at all.  Some DVD are still in the shrink wrap plastic!  Time is the fire in which we all burn.  All this and what do I do with myself?  Playing my games on my smartphone and jerking off to Porn!  I suffer from the curse of the early 21st century:  So much productive things to do and too many stupid distractions that do nothing for the human race, soul, or spirit.  I am starting to think that is really the plan by some Dark Cabal.

I promised myself I'd blog more, write a book, finish my 3D printing project and fix my house.  I done zip because Netflix and Minecraft are to damn interesting.  Great huge black holes of time sucking.  What is weird I got 10 minutes to play Pocket Planes, Pokemon Go!, and Puzzle and Dragons, but I don't have an hour to string two sentences together.    I'm sure if I added all the time together I'd get at least a good solid two weeks out of that.

As for Blogging, my Pintrest is kicking.  Really!?!?  I spend five seconds tagging pictures of cute cats and big booty women, that's consider blogging?  Don't get me started about Twitter and Snapchat....

The New Barbies

Kudos for Mattel making diverse Barbies. Looks like they come in four types regular, tall, petite, and curvy. Also, there seem to three or four ethnic types: White, Asian, Black, and Hispanic.

My only beef, all the curvy dolls are dressed hideously. Why?!?! The doll looks great, but all the curvy one seems to be wearing day-glo moo-moos. All the outfits my grandmother would not be caught dead in.

All the other Barbie regardless of ethnicity are smartly dress, with outfit that make sense. So what's up Mattel?

The only thing I can think of is the product design team at Mattel figures if they make the curvy dolls hideous they won't have to make anymore of them.

Go tell Mattel to stick it and buy a curvy Barbie. I'm sure there is someone out there who will start making decent clothes for them.

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Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

Yeah, I've been a bad person and spend my time not updating my blog.  I spend most of my off time playing video games and drinking margaritas.   Seriously, I teach then go home and spend three hours winding down by trying to kill other player's animated pixels.  Mostly, my time is spent with this beautiful big bitch with  a sword and her sisters in League of Legends.  I always play female characters, probably because I am a pervert.  I'm sure I have some deep issues and this is my way of coping.  Give my a female character with a large weapon and I'm happy.  When not in LoL (League of Legends), I am playing Smite as Neith,  another wonderful woman with a bow.  If not in those two places, I'm on Steam playing something else.

I realize I spend far too much time playing video games.  Time that could be spent: reading, blogging, writing, or doing housework.  If I just spent half the time just doing stuff around the house, my house would be a wonderful clean home.  I bet the High Priestess would be happier too.

So why do I do it?   Cleaning makes me sneeze.  Really, It does! Takes two days to recover after each time I clean.

My Prius is TOO Quiet

I once called a pervious car I owned a Deathmobile.  I have now changed my mind. Over the past 2 years I've killed more animals with my Prius than any other car I own.  All that death and still getting 55 mpg!.  The Problem is my Prius is TOO quiet.  Have you ever tried to sneak up on a squirrel or a chipmunk?  Have you ever tried the same trick in your car?  It happens to me all the time, not just parking either.  This is at speed doing 60 miles per hour down a country road! (aside: Unlike Al Gore III who seems to get 100 mph out of his Prius.  It's got to be the drugs.  I highest I've gotten my Prius is 90 mph.  That's when the High priestess tell me to slow the Fuck down! Actually she just tells me her side of the car is going to fast.)

I get road noise in the car:  the sound of the tires on the road, wind sounds, and internal engine noise. I do wish the prius had better sound insulation for those road noises.  However from the outside my car must be close to silent, or at least much quieter that the typical car.  The animals are not use that I guess.  I've had squirrels give me a look when I pull up, "OH, I didn't see you there!"  If am at speed it is: "HOLY CRAP! Where did that big blue monster come from!!!!"  SPLAT!!"

It's only a matter of time before I hit a couple of people.  I pulled into the bank the other day and old guy in a pickup said, "Hey Buddy! Are you gonna put a muffle on that thing it's so damn noisy?!?"  We both had a good laugh.  He commented he was sitting there waiting for his wife and just looked over and there I was.  I get the same comments from other people, parents and kids when picking up Technowitch from the local high school.

Looks like I'll be doing all my drive by shooting in my Black Prius with the tinted windows from now on.