Yes these are a copied post, but they are funny...


Don't Mess with Women

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks,interviews, and testing were done, there were three finalists... two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent responded, "Then you're not the right man for this job.
Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes.
Then the man came out with tears in his eyes.
"I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.
After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.
"This gun is loaded with blanks", she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."


Moral: Women are evil. Don't mess with them.

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Polish

A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I'd like some Polish
sausage."
The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?" The guy, clearly
offended, says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something."
If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was
Italian?
Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was
German?
Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was
Jewish?
Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican?
Would ya, huh? Would ya?"
The clerk says, "Well, no."
With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, "Well, all
right then, why did you ask me if I'm Polish just because I ask for Polish
sausage?"
The clerk replies, "Because this is Home Depot."

---

NASA and the Navajos

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in Arizona for training. One day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space crew walking among the rocks. The elder, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question. His son translated for the NASA people, "What are these guys in the big suits doing?"

One of the astronauts said that they were practicing for a trip to the moon. When his son relayed this comment, the Navajo elder got all excited and asked if it would be possible to give the astronauts a message to deliver to the moon. Recognizing a promotional opportunity when he saw one, a NASA official accompanying the astronauts said, "Why certainly!" and told an assistant to get a tape recorder.

The Navajo elder's comments into the microphone were brief. The NASA official asked the son if he would translate what his father had said. The son laughed uproariously but he refused to translate. So the NASA people took the tape to a nearby Navajo village and played it for other members of the tribe. They too laughed long and loudly but also refused to translate the elder's message to the moon. Finally, an official government translator was summoned. After he finally stopped laughing, the translator relayed the message, "Watch out for these assholes. They have come to steal your land."


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Blood Sister