When Did That Go Out Of Fashion?

So the High Priestess and I are doing some end of the year cleaning: Recycling old magazine, getting things together to donate, and going through the closets. 

The High Preistess is pulling out item she hasn't worn in years: sweaters, blouses, pants, dresses and skirts.  I love skirts and dresses on women, but then she tells me that current fashion is bare shaved legs without stockings or nylons.  WTF.  THP works in an office, when did stocking go out of fashion?!?  Even in winter?  This just seems to me another moving target of fashion that women can not hope to match.  Unless you are young and have the legs of a dancer, and happen only to be in the perfect skin population, please cover your gams up. 

Doesn't seem fair does it?  Women have been wearing stocking for centuries, and now they are no longer in fashion?  Maybe it's just an Iowa City thing  or it could be a self image thing.  I notice several women I've worked with get quite upset when the new crop of younger students show up each semester.  Really!?!  Why even bother comparing yourself to them?  Find what works for you and stick with it.  I have notice women are harder on themselves and each other than any sane man. 

At my current age, I'm just happy to be in any room with women wearing whatever:  stocking or no stocking, tanned, pale like cream or black as the darkest night, shaved or unshaved.  Just give me confident women any day of the week. That's sexy.  I'm sure most men would I agree when me.

Metadata Gone Wild

I have three children, two sons and a daughter.  However, I have discover the Internet Metadata Fairy has blessed me with three extra sons and another daughter.

So last week, when the postman dropped off a coupon pack for Victoria's Secret I assumed it was for the High Priestess or Technowitch.  Nope, evidently my oldest son is a major player.  Ignoring the fact the mailer is a slap across the face of all normal woman. (Insert Body Image Rant here:  She has no curves and looks like she is fifteen.) Why would my oldest son get coupons for bras and underwear?!?! 

He is already just a bag of hormones.  Why throw him a spank material in the mail along with free panties.  That's just a recipes to make him dysfunctional male who treats women like sex objects and kicks puppies in frustration.  This is like thrown raw meat covered in BBQ sauces to a straving grizzly bear.  Why do it?   Who thought this one up?  "Hmmmm... what do we need in our Victoria's Secret store?"   More young adult men, because that's not creepy at all.  Maybe we should start a queue outside the dressing rooms?

What I've been Doing Part I: Video Games

Bayonetta PS3

I've told you about waiting for Bayonetta to come out for the PS3. So let me cut to the quick. Bayonetta is interactive BDSM porn with guns and it just gets better from there. The main character and the games namesake looks like Sarah Palin's stand in. It's really frightening how much of a resemble there is. However, Bayonetta is a lot more intelligent than her real world look like.

Gameplay is typical of SEGA. You kill stuff, collect the rings that drop, jump through hoops, and kill the big bad monster at the end of each stage. One of my MORGA (College Video and Anime Club) member commented how much Bayonetta is like Sonic the hedgehog. Expect for the guns, pose downs and Torture/Climax attack Bayonetta does.

Bayonetta torture attack demo

Bayonetta climax attack It's about half way through the clip.

This is the first game I've finish in a long while. However, I did do it on the Very Easy Mode for Middle-Age Pussies. I can still go back and collect more weapons, credits and specialty items if I've got nothing to do on a rainy day. I am going to try very hard not to pay full price for a game if I can help it.

Heavy Rain PS3

This is a great game. It has non linear story play and multiple ending. If you really screw up It's possible to get all the major characters killed off. You're after a serial killer who like to kill little kids by drowning them in rainwater. If that's not enough incentive, one of the main character's children has been kidnapped and the clock is ticking. I won't give any spoilers, but I will say I nearly shit my pants when I found out who the killer was. One hint I will give, if you really mess up a scene during game play you can quit the game and reload the scene and play it again until you get the outcome you want. You should do this immediately for scene you want to "correct", otherwise you can disrupt the flow of the game.

The coding is pretty solid, and the live motion capture for the characters is pretty good. The FBI agent remind me a Neo from the Matrix, especially when he has his ARI Computer interface sunglasses on. The shower scene are just fun. If you play the game right you can make the character walk around naked for quite some time. I will say the the main father characters is a major dufus and should never be allowed to have kids in the first place.

I've been pining for this game for awhile, but no way I was going to fork out $60. I waited for this to show up as a used title and picked it up for $45


Bullet Witch XBox360

I would like to say Bullet Witch is a Poor man's Bayonetta, but that would be quite true because Bullet Witch was out long before Bayonetta. It's another girls with guns game. This game really satisfies the need to blow shit up after a day at the college. I also like the fact you can still download different costume for her to ware on her shooting spree. I can't decide between the schoolgirl outfit or the sexy business wear.

Gameplay is straight forward with lots of upgrades to earn. I've finish this game, but I still go back to grind for points in the first level. Points allow you to buy upgrades for spells, effects and weapons. This game teaches the need for strafing and not standing in one place for too long.

I wanted to try this game for a long time, I finally picked it up used from a "Going Out of Business" sale at Mr. Moovies.

I met a young woman the other day that was so beautiful I was blinded by the light. I just looked up and it was if the sky open and the Goddess herself decided to spend a moment on Earth in human form. This was not sexual. She was stunning, like a perfect sunrise on a winter day when the sky is a deep blue.

I wanted to say, "MY GOD YOU ARE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!" Fortunately, some part of myself whack me over the the head with and shovel and kept my mouth shut.


(I know this post seems crass. I just don't have the word to express how wonderful she was. It is as if she fell through some hole from a perfect universe of light and landed here.)

A young lady friend of mine called me yesterday with happy news. She has become in engaged. Wonderful. I'm happy and sad at the same time. I alway this way when a woman I know tells me she is getting married.

I'm happy because someone other than myself has realized how wonderful this woman is and how much joy she will bring to his life. I'm happy because all the long chats we have about what guys are looking for, what an idiot boyfriend x was, and why can't I find anyone are gone and in the past. I happy because everyone needs someone to love. It doesn't matter what form or gender it takes. With how lonely and cold the world can be, just be happy you can find someone to hold on to.

I'm sad, because all those short fat middle-age male fantasy now have to go out the window. Dang if I was twenty years younger, one hundred pounds lighter, six inches taller, and had buckets of cash, We go out and paint the town red. I'd make sure she had a good time. As it is now I just sit on my park bench. You better treat her right or we hunt you down like the dog you are.

Women how do a Clothe You!

OK, OK … I’ll admit it. I have a thing for curvy women. Rubenesques, Zaftig, Voluptuous, Ghetto Booty, Apple Bottom, BBW. What ever you want to call it I’m there! I told the High Priestess it doesn’t matter to me; I love any shape you take. Please, Please…Let me buy you something! Which usually leave someone in a sea of tears and me thinking “What the F*ck did I do now?” How do I correct it without using the secret weapon of Dark Chocolate?

I always like trying to make women look their best in a non-fashion-designer–completely-straight-Heterosexual-male-kind-of way. I think I am pretty schooled in all the tricks of women’s clothing. I know for a fact all the plus size catalogs has a nasty habit of modeling their wears on women who are a size 12 or 14, but the shop only stocks for 16 or higher. A fact I know is upsetting to a lot of women. Kind of like me buying my clothing based on some guy with a deep tan. HA! That Works! HA!

So I’m off to the store with money burring a hole in my pocket. I have sizes, colors and styles in my head! I go to a place in the Jordan Creek Mall called Torrid. Kind a of Lane Bryant meets Hot Topic meets Fashion Bug. The good little Astrophysicist in me has a sea of numbers in my head. I’m looking for 18, 20, 22, 24 etc. Still working past the whole even numbers only thing. I find some things I like and I check the tags.

“WTF”

I see 0, 1, 2, and 3 …

Just when I thought I had everything figured out they change the rules. The nice saleslady at Torrid explains that their system starts at 0 for a size 16 and goes up from there. Ok I’m just a man, but are you really fooling anyone by doing this?

Ok. I get past that. Now I have to deal with bust sizes, hips and a whole bunch of stuff I did not think of. I leave the store dazed and confused. I’m thinking I just need to drag the HP to the store and let hear just go on a shopping spree. Which is probably for the best because even by some miracle I have the sizes right, I’m sure I will have miss the colors and matching portion of the test.

Deep Truth #9

Men are Bears with furnature.

I don't care what color the sofa is. I don't care if the kitchen Curtain match the wallpaper. I definately, don't about the color of the paint in the bedroom or the color of the sheets on the bed. ALL MY Favorite activities in the bedroom have nothing to do with the color scheme. I don't sleep with my eyes open, so the wall can be painted bright green. I only care about the color because YOU care and I want to make sure you are happy. The Happier you are, the better the chances I get to do some of my other favorite activites in the Bedroom, Kitchen, Dining room, upstair hallway, basement behind the furnace......etc...etc...

I don't care if the house is messy as long as I can still use the room for what I what , and don't have to spend to much time looking for the TV remote, my car keys, the dog, or whatever I'm interested in finding.

Deep Truth #8

Women are much more judgemental on themselve and each other than men are.

Ladies, you are not too fat, too skinny, too small breasted, too large breast....etc....etc

You look fine. Most guy have a very short list in what the like or find desirable in women ( or Men, trying not to be bias). Usually there are only one or two things we are looking for in a relationships or just being with you. It's only women who spend there time looking at others people's socks, shoes, skrit, hair style, personality, etc...etc...

Ladies, YOU ARE FINE!... Stop reading Vouge, Cosmo, Ladies' Home Journal, and every other magazine that claims to know the Male Psyche. Knowing a Man is simple: He him want he needs. Usually it's basics, Food, Sex, Sleep, and maybe something else that varies with the man.

Two Quotes sum it up:

From Dave Chappelle ( From his Stand up act) : How to make a man Happy: Suck his D***, Play with his Balls, fix him a Sandwich, and Don't talk so Damn much.

From Rosanne Barr: (from her TV show) When asked how she was going to get her TV husband in a better mood before telling him thier kids had wrecked the car. She reponded " I don't have time to get him licquor-up, have sex with him and make him smores..."


As crude as these two comments are there is a grain of truth.

Deep Truth # 1:

My God watches over me in ways I can not fathom or understand.

Deep Truth #7

You are responsible for your own happiness. You must choose to be happy and content. A blissful existence is made up of choices.

People, Things, Places, Drugs and Money can not make you happy. They may relief loneiness or depressions for a time, but in the end it is you alone who has to make the choice to move toward bliss. I understand there is true misery and evil in the world, most of it by human origin. I not talking about that. (Although there are some people in the world who idea of happiness is making someone's else life miserable. That is evil.)


One must stop making choices that work against their journey toward BLISS, or learn to live with the choices without dwelling on the pain.

If you like fishing and choose to build your home near a river. Don't be surprise when the spring floods come. If fishing puts you into a blissful state then be happy with your home. Don't fret over the choice you made. Be happy that you had a home to begin with that let you experience the river every other day.

Choosing Bliss does not mean a life free of pain, injury or sacrifice. Especially if the choice brings you to a higher state of being happy with oneself. Childbirth is painful, but the bliss from having children can outweigh the pain.

More on this at a later time....

Deep Truth # 6

Women have alot of power in relationships. It may be untapped but it's is still there.

Women don't ask men out for two reason. (IMHO) 1. The Guy May say "YES": Then what will I do!
2. The guy might say "NO": Then what will I do!

Deep Truth #5 : All Women Want Attention. BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN ALL WOMEN WANT ATTENTION FROM YOU! Women only want attention form people they deem important to them.

Case in Point: Spring

This season it's thongs and hiphugger. WHY WEAR ANYTHING AT ALL?

The young ladies here on campus are being notice by the young men, but freak when the old coots ( over 30 ) look in their general direction.

Last year it was body jewelry.

Late 1990s it was Tatoos

Early 1990s it was Short skorts

Late 1980s it was tanlines

Early 1980's it was terry cloth shorts

I figure by 2030 it will be a couple spashes of body paint