At 2 AM last night I had a moment of Clarity while playing Doom3. Just an understanding of my life: Heaven, Hell, the Fate of the Human Race, Death, How Much time I have left, and Women (Always Women!). Over the course of the day I'm going to type it all down and see if it makes sense to you.

First of all what does a computer video game have to do with the above subjects. It's the plot and the artist vision of what hell that is distrubing. The Game places as you a humble marine are assigned to a science research lab on Mars. The Corporations running the lab are doing research in create new products for clean air, clean water, food and new energy sources. Most of ythis is done by ripping matter apart and rearranging it into something useful. Something goes wrong and a portal to Hell gets ripped open and all kinds a nasty things come out. You have to finish the game by destroying all the baddies with all the heavy weapons you can carry. I's a lot like the original Half-life

THIS IS SO TYPICAL. I can see some idiot making a stupid mistake and wiping out mankind. It happen a lot more frequently than we care to admit to ourself. Chernobyl was cause by human error, a group of scienctist running a bad experiment with poor control. Results: scores of people dead and a place that is radioactive for the next 10,000 years. Remember Terry Lynn Barton the woman who cause one the worst Colorado forestfire because she was buring a Love letter in the woods. Bhopal was one of the worst chemical accidence in history. These are just examples of how man might kill himself through his own cleverness. So it seems possible in 2145 someone on Mars might do something stupid too. I always thought the human race would go on for at least the next 10,000 years, but at times I wonder how we are going to make it. I can see it now some furture alien race finds Earth with no life and they found out we all died because some jerk went to the Olympic Games in Athene with a case of Ebola.

Now for the Heaven and Hell part: I don't know what Hell is like, but I don't want to be there. It's probably a place of pain, choas, and horrible loniness. Imagine a plane of existence where every move is painful, you are all alone, with no hope every seeing anyone else, a place devoid of the presence of GOD. A place where anything can happen with rhyme or reason. Your blood my pool suddenly outside of your body, or a giant foot might smash you into a pulp. You never die, you just keep on existing on this chocatic plane. That's hell, no hope, no life, and no death for release. I don't want that. Sometime I think it would be better to just have true Oblivion. No Heaven or Hell. Just when you are done here you are dead and gone. maybe iof you were decent someone will remember you another 100 years from now. Some of the lucky few with change humankind forever, just to have it mucked up by the idiot in the perivous paragragh.

I don't think I need Heaven. I am sure the Afterlife would be such an amazing thing I would be speachless for the first 10,000 years of eternity, but after that I would just be an ass. Asking the Almighty stupid question like: "That girl I met when I was 21 in the Denny's parking lot....did I have a chance with her? I was getting a vibe... Could we have done it? I bet she was HOT and a Freak too! Was she? Or how about the neighbor I always use to see in a bathrobe and nothing else when I was 35? Would She?... and so on and so on... " You get the picture. I'd probably be disappointed withthe answers anyway. I would then just get bitter.
Nope. Heaven is for kids who never had a chance on Earth. Susan Smith's kids deserve Heaven