Digital Life at the Dentist

Time for the semiannual cleaning and picking at the local dentist.  This time the dental hygienist has something new up her sleeve.  An Xray sensor that plugs into the USB port of her computer.  Now all my X-rays and files are digital and the whole office is going paperless. Truly amazing times in which we live.  I still remember those little piece of film you had to hold in your mouth.  Yeah, I'm old.

Notice that little bump on the tooth in the lower left half of the image?  That little place is the bane of my existence.   A lump of plaque that builds up behind my teeth.  Normally there would be a third molar there, but I had my wisdom teeth take out long ago.  That spot is a pain in the ass to reach with a toothbrush and flossing is near impossible.  I try.  If I didn't that lump would be the size of Texas.  So this is the place the Dental Hygienist works on.

Normally, I'm pretty calm when getting my teeth worked on, but when the normal pick doesn't do the job my dental nazi brings out the big gun.  She uses an ultrasonic pick that lubricates itself with water.  It feels like a high speed drill and makes the same sound as a metal lathe.  That high pitch squeal of of crunching glass marble, fingernails on chalkboards and steel knife on an iron plate.  It hurts like hell: a hot needle dipped in heroin melted by a beatnik junkie on a friday night.  So, I'm off to my happy place.

My happy place is imagining my dental hygenist as a leather bound goddess from Helga's house of pain.  There are about four places she has to get to, so as she cleans my teeth she starts losing clothes and wearing more leather and lace.  The ultrasonic pick hits my back molar: POW!

She is wearing calf-high big black boots with 6 inch spiked heels.  Fishnet stockings go all the way up to her black garter belt, that peaks out from underneath the leather miniskirt that covers her ample round ass.  Her corset is black wet latex is two size too small so hear breasts heave with every breath she takes.  Her nipples just barely peak out of the corset…

"Ah Sir, are you ok?" My dental hygienist leans in front of the bright examination light.

("I'll Never Tell you the nuclear launch codes! You Nazi Bitch!"  I try really hard not to squeeze my dental hygienist ass with my closest free hand.) I nod

("We have ways of making you talk" She has a bad german accent and I'll be damn if  her breasts didn't  go up two cup sizes.)

"Just few more minutes and we will be done." She smiles at me.  I can taste blood in my mouth.  My gums bleed very easy.  The daily aspirin I take doesn't help, because the tiniest prick bleeds like crazy.

("Not talking, eh" She slaps me across the mouth and I taste blood.  She wheels in a cart piled high with whips, paddle, dildos, sex toys, a tub of Crisco, and a bucket of KY jelly.)

"Just one more place and we can finish up with polishing", she says.

("You will soon scream for me you American Yankee lapdog of the midwest!" She bend me over a wooden sawhorse and produce the biggest vibrating butt plug I've ever seen in my life!)

The Daydream shatters in a fit of laughter.  The dental hygienist quickly takes eight fingers, the ultrasonic pick and the suction hose out of mouth.  "ARE You Choking!"  She is frantic.  I'm laughing my ass off with tears rolling down my cheeks.  I can't keep a straight face for the rest of the appointment.

As I leave with my bag of dental goodies: Toothbrush, Dental floss, and a sample of toothpaste, I hear.

"Funny, most of the patient hate the ultrasonic pick."