"Those are cute."

This was a comment I made to a Coed at the College I work at. She was bending over and tying her shoe. I get a 30 second flashback in my mind's eye on how her expression changed just after that comment. I'm sure she thought I was talking about her breasts. I was commenting on her choice of pigtails she was wearing in her hair. They reminded me of Chun-Li from Street Fighter II. (Yes, I'm a repressed teenagers in a 40 year old body.) I spent the rest of the day fretting about that. It irks me to no end when I can't get my feelings or ideas across in an effective manner. The sad thing is I can't correct the mistake by tracking her down and shouting, "I wasn't drooling over your breasts. I ment your hair!" This makes me look like a complete psycho. What bugs me is she will always see me as that professor who harassed her, and that will play into her thoughts about race. I'm sure there are many poeple out there that think the only thing black men think about is pussy. If I am amourous it is not because of the color of my skin. It is my own character flaws. The big factors is I have a "Y" Chromesome. (Which I don't reget by the way.) This will not be a male bashing post, but a deep truth as I, Technomage, understand it.

Ladies, every man you know has thought about: what you look like naked, what it would be like to have sex with you, what kind of sounds you make, what turns you on, and how can we get you to have sex with us. It's call Lust. There are some exceptions, of course, that guy you know who dresses well, is well mannered, cultured, and leaves the toilet sit down --- He's Gay. You excited him as much as a chicken salad sandwich. That why all the ladies hang around him in the first place because he is safe. Hopefully, your father, brothers, grandfathers, and close cousin regard you as a chicken salad sandwich as well. Unless you are in West Virgina, Arkansas, or parts of Utah you should be safe. Men if you fall into the above categories, or have looked at someone under the age of 18 that way, you need to take one for the "Human Race" team and step out into traffic.

I admit It takes alot of effort to keep the lust monster at bay. It gets easier as I get older, and Video Games help alot.... ALOT REALLY! (World of Warcraft has saved me these last three months.) At any giving time there are about 10 women, other than my wife, I can get out of my head. Some are movie stars, but not as many as you might think. Others, I don't even know their name, just someone I saw walking down the street. For me, to lust after a woman, they must be somewhat remotely obtainable (1 in 3 billion, snowball chances in hell), that explain the lack of actress on the top ten. Most are people I know, but would never..EVER.. act on it. My psyche is fragile enough. I don't need it crushed when the women of my dreams starts the uncontrollable laughing. Interestingly, there are some women on the list I completly loath and despies, but I still want to have sex with them. How messed up is that?

This list rotates, some stays, some go. It's fluid. I don't spend hours each day thinking about this stuff either. Most of the time the thoughts are fleeting, and last no longer than 10 seconds. Did you know that an erotic image can actually make you go blind? I have always felt that an erotic thought or desirable woman always made me freeze for half a second. It is almost as if my brain short circuit for awhile: "DAMN! WHOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, TECH!" Well, the folks at YALE proved my feelings correct.