I love FedEx and UPS! I’m waiting again for another package. I love tracking my packages across the country. The only thing that could make it any better would be a GPS locator and Video camera on the package itself. I could track its’ progress and know exactly where it is. I know the Package Channel. People could watch packages all day. You can even have special Pay-per-View packages. “I see Mr. Jones is ordering from Fredrick’s of Hollywood again and it’s going to some where in Billings, Montana. I wonder what his mistress is getting today?” You could even have online access to what kind of packages your favorite shippers send and their history. How about special profiles of good delivery people? “ This is Judy, she’s been a Fed Ex person for 4 years. This is her getting up at 3 AM. This is Judy in the shower. This is Judy drinking coffee. This is Judy delivering Mr. Jones package.” It’s frightening is it not?

I order a new Apple Ibook G4 laptop, Carrying case and mouse. The mouse arrived 10 hours after I order it online at 10 pm, TEN freaking’ hours. So fast it’s scary. When I was a kid I waited weeks for stuff! The computer and case shipped later and are on the truck as I type this. The bad thing about tracking is watching your package sit someplace. My computer (my tools for world domination!) was sitting in the Cedar Rapids office for a whole 48 hours! I don’t care if it’s January 2nd I want my package NOW! Of course, now it is on the truck. I stuck here because I know if I take my shower, go to lunch with my wife, or leave for any reason Fed Ex will choose that moment to show up. I bet the bastards are just waiting around the corner, hoping I leave.