Sunday, January 01, 2006

I want to take the time to write something a little different. This is a more targeted approach than I usually do, but it’s a new year so let turn over a new leaf. Most of this is for several people I tried to fix up over the past years, but I think goes for anyone wishing to be in a relationship. You know who you are, so just read. Yes, you may get upset with me, but get over it. I ‘m sure over the next 365 days I’ll find numerous way to piss you off and get you upset with me, one of my many special gifts.

I want you to be open to the possibility of Love, embrace romance this year as if anything or anyone is possible. That does not mean being foolish with your feeling, but be open to the unexpected, to the chance that love is possible. Nor does this mean hoping and pining away at some future “Once in a lifetime love”. Real love is just around the corner and usually happens when you least expected it or looking the other way. Real Love is not something to be hunted down and capture. At the same time I’m not so hopeless that I think love is truly a random chance. Love is a conscience choice. If you think you are in love then you are. That giddy, bubbly feeling is only the hook that set you on the path of true love. True love is when you stop thinking about yourself and truly see the other person needs before your own.

I was never a fan of the “Only one person for me” ideal. There are 6.3 billion people on the planet, 10,000 of them would like to be with you for a day. A 1000 would be there for you and make a home with you. A 100 would be willing to bear (or father) your children, and grow old with you and give you a happy life. The last 10 of that six billion will be with you for life and leave you in a state of deep profound bliss that you wonder how you lived before that. I will give you that there maybe 1 or 2 people in this world that might be your one true love, but I doubt it. One in 3 billion your odds of being hit by a bus as you sleep in your bed are better than that.

I willing to bet that at least 1 or 2 of the ten people I mentioned above or less than six degrees of separation from you, perhaps even 3 degrees. Perhaps someone you see everyday or pass in your favorite story. They are just as lonely as you, but afraid to take the leap of faith. If you want to be loved, learn to love. Learn to love yourself, and learn to love other people. Share your feeling and roll the dice.

Yes, It will hurt. Loving someone who does love you back can be the most painfully thing you will ever do in your life, but that what make true love that much sweeter. By sharing your feeling you will know if this is what you truly want or if you are wasting your time with some loser. Share your feelings. Maybe it will come back to you or maybe not. In some case you might have to get on with your life while that other person find himself/herself. It might take ten to twenty years or it may never happen. Press on.

I knew a man once named, Dave, he spent all his time pining after a young woman. He never told her how he felt and was terrified that she would find out. For him, it was some noble act: “To Love from Afar.” She married someone else years later and he was crushed. He was in Love with the idea of being in love, the act itself not the person. What a waste. The chance of love squandered through inaction. Yes you will have to left down your guard, but would you rather be alone at sixty-five eating oatmeal in a wheel chair?

I’m asking you to take an active role in the pursuit of love. Meet people. Talk, to that cashier you keep ignoring. Grab that Marine and seize the day. Take those dates that your friends keep setting you up on.

Love to be love.

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