Staining is a lot like 3D coloring for adult. Follow the rules: stay in the lines, choosing the right colors, and taking your time. The whole act of finishing or refinishing a piece is a lot like making love. Now, before you tune me out bare with me for a moment. (When sanding, staining, and varnishing I have a lot of time to think this stuff up. So you can at least read what the old fool has to say.)

Finishing takes only moments, but it also takes forever. It takes me three days to a week to refinish something. Most of that is wait time. Sanding is like foreplay. Paying attention to each detail makes the finish product so much more enjoyable. You can think of it as "I need to sand this whole desk, table, chair, or floor". Think of it as: "I just need to sand this leg, this drawer, this corner...I have all the time in the world to make this once small spot perfect, well loved, and cared for.."

Sanding makes the wood thirsty for the stain. Just like foreplay should make someone want to touched, caressed and more. In a way you are opening the wood, so the stain can't seep into every pore. It's is like you are bringing the skin alive as well, letting the object of your desire drink in the sensation of the experience.

When you stain, the wood should soak up everything. I know the instructions say I need to wipe the excess off with a cloth, but if I do this right I should not have to . Stain must be apply in coats, light coat, the wood need the chance to drink all that you give it: no more, no less. this is really important for vertical surface, otherwise your final product has runs that stay forever. The brush should be almost before you get more stain. Light even stokes over the entire surface, moving out form the center toward the edges. Blending the starting strokes together with the nearly dry brush so the whole surface is uniform. Always stroking with the grain of the whole. This hides and blends the brush strokes into the grain and make the stain going deep into the wood.

This is a lot like using massage oil on a woman's back. Most people use fair too much, and a sensual massage turns into a Slip'n Slide party at a frat house. Hold out your hand. DO IT! That little well in the palm of you hand should hold about two teaspoons to one tablespoon of oil. That should be enough to do an entire back. Unless the skin is extreme dry you should have no problem making that last. Same rules: Work out from the center, light firm even strokes, moving toward the edges (small of the back, and up toward the neck) Watch the ribs and the spine, no pressure there. Always work with the grain of the skin, that the direction the fine hairs grow out of the skin. Never pour oil directly on the skin, always into your hand first. This give the oil a chance to come to body temperature.

Finally we come to finishing. I use polyeuthane semi-gloss. This part is like foreplay and making love all over again. After the stain has dry for at least 8 hours, I apply a light thin coat of semi-gloss the same way I worked the stain into the wood. I let this dry for 8 to 12 hours (usually overnight), then lightly sand to remove the imperfections. The second coat seal the first, and I left that dry again for 8 to 10 hours. Sand once again and carefully apply a third and final coat. If I done everything correctly the wood should have a deep glow, almost a warmth to the wood. The color and glow should be deep as if the wood has depth and not just a surface. You should be able to see the grain as well.

Gentlemen the same care should be apply to the women you love. She should glow afterwards. Ideally, like the wood, each coat should be followed by her rapture. She should look glorious and well loved.

Guys it's not about you. It's about her, and you should be glad someone puts up with you enough to share something special with you.