This week has been Family Fun Week. The kids at the grands for the first half of the week, and time with the wife: Sleeping late, Lunch out, and Tubs of Lime jello...lots and lots of Lime Jello!

Three stories:

I.

I'm at lunch with the wife. A classy place, her pick this time, I'm more of a burger/steak/Mexican kind of guy. Half way through the meal I find a long hair baked right in her BBQ beef wrap! The great thing about being black is I can tell it's not my hair. She freaks! The waitress freaks! The new cook freaks! The manager freaks! Free lunch. Here is the question: The hair ( I assume it's the cook's hair because it's deep inside) is probably clean, cleaner than the floor. People won't think twice picking up something off the floor, bushing it off, mumble something about the "5-10 seconds"rule and pop whatever it is into their mouth. Dropping something on the floor is like drop something in ketchup. Germs coat the object in question. The germs does not have to move or crawl on to the food. The hair has been cooked. So is the hair just gross, because it belongs to some unknown person?


II.

Another day and another date with the wife. This time to one of my favorite burger joints. On our way there we past a hotel parking lot. In the lot is the "Girls Gone Wild" RV. OMG, they're here?!?! I knew my guidance advisor in high school was an idiot. I could have had a job finding loose coed, and getting them on tape. It's even legal! Actually, why are they here in Iowa? It's in the middle of summer break and summer school is on break too. Maybe I'm not thinking. Perhaps break time is the best time to find drunk girls in the bars? Later I see the same RV on I80 near Grinnel, Iowa.

III.

I just had another "talk" with my better half. Once again the line, "The whole world doesn't revolve around you." Just then it hits me. I got this whole terrorist/Al Qaeda thing figured out. The world would be a better place if it did just revolved around me. Terrorist what you need to ask yourself is this: "What would Ken like today? Shall I blow something up or find a way to get Ken blown? Would Ken like a sandwich? How is Ken's car running? Does it need a tune up? Shall I give the starving kid next door a sandwich, or pack a vest with explosives and go to a grade school? What would Ken have me do? By the way you notice none of those terrorist seems to be in need of a sandwich. I think you get the picture. Terrorist if you spend more time thinking about my needs instead of your own selfish desires the world would be a much happier place.