Well... I could work on my taxes....or updated my blog. Let's update the blog.

It's Monday, March 10th at 5:35 AM and I wake up with fire in my gut. Like a nuclear reactor that has had the control rods melting and Gomer Pyle is manning the controls. I think it's just gas, so I take a couple of Tums and a glass of water and head back to bed.

6 AM and my bowels laugh at my attempt to stop the ensuing holocaust. The Tums are like Jimmy Cricket trying to blow out the sun. I race toward the bathroom and sit on the throne. Everything I've had for the past three days decide to leave the rear escape hatch...NOW! I feel like an O-ring on the space shuttle about to fail.

Mentally I start going over the possibilities in my head. Flu...maybe. Food Poisoning..I run the list in my head. Too much Coffee..No. Extra Spicy Hot dogs.... maybe... They were the culprit last time 20 years ago. Dang! I got it! The Carrot Salad from the the Hy-Vee Deli! I knew I should stopped eating when it tasted like cabbage. I spend another hour making like a Saturn V rocket and I think the worst is over. I can still make it to school and teach.

Thirty minutes later and my body has other plans. I need to make The Call. 8:05 I tell the school to go ahead and cancel my classes. Although I feeling a little better I so not want to be in my car for a 45 minute commute. Smart move.

10:10 AM and the warp core beach happens. I haven't thrown up in 20 years. After experience it for the second time in my adult life I can't see how anyone would drink tothe point of puking. I feel much better afterwards, but my head is pounding and I'm pretty sure their is nothing left in my digestive tract. I'm glad I stay home because I don't think my Meteorology class really wants to see me spew all over them.

I spend Monday and Tuesday at home trying not to die. I lost 7 pounds. I am Joe's Bowels.

Why in God's names does the taste of the most repulsive thing you had stick with you?